I agree with the ryhme on the mare, but great poem.
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I'm here
I'm slipping on my dress
fingers scraping skin
this bedroom fall within
a deadly drop just to carress
my fears
You press
Your nervous and you sweat
lips kissing hair-drops
Unsteadily, you can't stop
Shaking fingers, dabbled, wet
You confess
We pair
Fabric womb, still sweet
Measured rocking salt-sea
Reluctant, you swing within me
I paddle away with weakened feet
I'm your mare
Whipped, these winds, searing -
Alone and thin clothed, fearing
Heart pounds, I swallow bile
You climax, all the while
Beating pleasure, liquid, vile
Raped - here are my raw leg marks
My virgin flower's burnt -
I clasp my hands about a fresher spark
Tumble dry, the streetlights fall behind me
I'm rushing nowhere, a knob of breath
Caught between the buttons on my breast
The last two stanzas were excellent, as were some of the first. However, the first stanzas don't even suggest that it was rape. and I don't like the rhyme "mare."
Points: 890
Reviews: 2
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